.... I have never felt so fucking stupid in my life.

I think I'm so awesomely stupid after today, I might as well go commit hara-kiri on myself or something.

... The granite floor below my house look so damn welcoming now.


-Al.

Happy Valentines day, I'm sorry I'm late.

I got 3 anonymous cards and stuff like that on the day itself, no idea who sent it.

Am moodless, tired and sleepy now. Enjoying myself in Audition or something seems impossibly moot.

-Altariel, Riviera.




-To Him,

... I do not understand what I did wrong. It hurts for you to just ignore me like that, am I invisible to you...?

If the inevitable actually happens, I'll at least want an explanation... 'WHY.'

Hello, all.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

*Is too early? Iuno.*

For the past few days, I have not went to school. And NO, it's not pon-age. I r SICK. As per usual. 24/7. =p

For a start, I think I done pretty well for my Biology and English tests. I fell asleep in Chinese, while with the commotion with Ms Rathi... "Now, to find the Highest Common Facto- - -YONG XUN, SIT DOWN!- ... As I was saying, 346 divided by two- -JEDREK! STOP TALKING!-... Look, class. If you are not interested in class, I will personally leave this ro- - ELI! YOU ARE THE CLASS CHAIRMAN AND YOU STILL DARE TO STAND UP?!"

Usually, at this point, the class will either-:

1a. Break into awesome applause as -(Insert student's name here)- walks back to his seat with absolute gusto, or...

1b. We will make 'smart' comments about the class chairman. (Etc. WA! You chairman? I tableman! Then she's Windowwoman! He's Pencilguy! etc.etc.)

2. Teacher will leave the room in a fit, like throwing down her marker, then stalking out of the class.

It's a mantra nowadays. We just AREN'T satisfied if the teacher doesn't go nuts at the very least. Although we try very, very hard to cool it on our 6~7 month pregnant English teacher, in case she goes into labour abnormally. o_o''

-~-~-~

Been playing AuditionSEA and Maple nowadays. I find no motivation to do anything artistic whatsoever. Just sitting down makes me feel empty, and always not being contented. Eventually, this becomes sleep if I lie on a bed, and once I wake up, I rush my homework and stuff like that. It's getting...

Tiring.

~.~.~.~

Went for my Reunion dinner today. I started for crying for no reason that I know of. Then my mom goes all "Do you want me to slap you in the middle of the table and disgrace you?"... After that, she goes back and starts eating like nothing's happened, leaving me heaving and clenching my fists not to hit her in hysteria, I-hate-you rants or simply getting pissed.

Thank Valhalla for my brother, he knows when I get disturbed or unhappy, and is always there for me...

We scooted out of my grandparent's house, then went out for a little while.

Just in time for the Bomb-Bag match. And the screaming sparklers. And fast enough to see a cousin throwing a fit and mashing the other one on the eye.

Mass madness. Joy.

~.~.~.~

At home now. Maybe going to play Audition again, once I get my hands on the Desktop =p

-: To those there, I'm changing my name again. Don't get mad at me please~

... And for god's sake, mom...



STOP PLAYING THE DAMNED CHINESE NEW YEAR MUSICCC!!!



-Altariel,Riviera.