I convieniently forgot what I wanted to type by the time I opened this page.

Great.

~>> I'm also going to swear a lot in this post. You have been warned. <<~


It's going to be another ranting post. Please close if you feel :-

~Pissed
~Extremely unhappy
~If you think life is seriously fucked up at this moment -_-

~-~

I am very tired nowadays. I sleep in class, I stare at the whiteboard, I mumble crap I don't understand out of my mouth, I draw on my test papers and textbooks. Some even with pen. I think my classmates are stupid immature monkeys with no brain cells except to scream and shout like uncivilized barbarians.

Their mindmap can go to this :-

[Listed on probability of action happening.]

Scenario 1:

Teacher comes into class.

~Scream.
~'SIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.'
~'HAI TEACHER!! LOLOLOLOLL I DIDN'T DO HW TODAY!'
~'WALAO! SEE LA, ALL -insert innocent classmate's name here.- 's FAULT LA!'
~'WA FUCK LA! TEACHER COME TODAY!'

-> Least probability

~Everyone will keep their mouth shut and sit down in a fairly civilized manner.

Scenario 2:

Class in session.

~Interrupt the teacher word-for-word

~Random shouting of answers and 'LI-AR!'

Scenario 3:

Teacher is giving out homework due to noise level.

~'FUCK LA!'

~'SIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.'

~'EH TEACHER, BUT I QUIET WHATTT!' [Someone who has been shouting all the time.]

-> Someone else. Conversation is something like:-

Someone: 'Eh can shaddap or not fucker?! Because of you then liddat right?!'

Person: 1: 'Fuck off la noob! -insert insult of mother, father, or some tom, dick and harry -.- -'

2: 'What la! Got problem want to fight izzit?!'

~Other class members shout and scream as this goes on as if it's some brawlfight.~

Scenario 4 :

Teacher leaves class.

~Get up.

~Scream.

~Fight.

~Run around and hit tables and chairs.

~Shoot paper aeroplanes

~Draw on the whiteboard

~Get stuff from dustbin and throw at other people.

~Run for recess.


All this in 1 day of class repeatedly. With the class asshole beside me stealing my pencilbox material constantly and getting my books confiscated due to him reading my books in class. Or taking the paper I am using to draw on and purposefully slamming my hand. [ALWAYS WHEN I AM ABOUT TO FINISH.] or simply just tearing the paper in front of my face and laughing, calling it an 'ACCIDENT.'

ALWAYS IN ENGLISH CLASS WHEN THE TEACHER KNOWS IT'S MINE AND SHE WANTS HIM TO DO IMPOSSIBLE STUFF LIKE SCORING HIGH FOR A TEST WHEN HE FAILS HORRIBLY BEFORE SHE GIVES IT BACK. AN OVERDUE LIBRARY BOOK NO LESS.

SO WHEN IT EVER COMES BACK, I HAVE TO PAY A FEW MONTHS WORTH OF FINE BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE. GREAT LA, YONG XUN. WELL DONE. VERY GOOD.

And my parents ask 'Why are your grades dropping?' , 'You play too much.' -Banned from computer.-

It's too far for me to think that they will ask: 'Why do you look so depressed?' Yeah, probably in a few YEARS they will notice.

It's always : 'Why are you swearing so much?' , 'Stop being so petty, the soceity is not going to stand all that crap.'

So I get it. It's always YOUR WORK first, then WALTER. Him and his SCHOLARSHIP. Then it's why I swear so much. And what I USED TO be. And WHY COULDN'T I BE LIKE -insert some person's- CHILD. WHO IS 'PERFECT' AND EARNS COMPLIMENTS LIKE A PISSIN' TOILETBOWL.

Then be depressed, Mom, Dad. For to you, I am not your 'child'. I am your 'employee'. Why do you say that? Because everything it's about 'In my work, people never disobey me like this!' or 'You don't climb on my head and shit!'. Or 'You freeloading bastard!' [In basic sense. Of everything summarized.]

I do not care about your career as much as I care about why my class is as idiotic as it is now. And mom keeps talking about her financial plans and expects me to REMEMBER them for her. So if she asks, I get screwed by her if I don't remember them or when she asks my opinion, I give it, then she will place ANOTHER doubt at me, expect me to answer, then ANOTHER and ANOTHER and ANOTHER. When I am doing something like homework or I am damn busy at current. If I get pissed at tell her to get out, she'll get angry and her poison-tongue mode comes on again.

My dad restricts me from sleeping in afternoons because it 'turns my life upside down'. Look, sleeping in the afternoon is not going to turn me nocturnal. Get that into your thick head.

Does not include all the stupid Sec 2s I have to face each day simply because they won't shut up and walk straight back to class without pulling my hair or teasing me with stupid comments about my high socks and long skirt. I don't care if I am 'Unglam'. I don't care if my hair is messy.

I AM NOT A FASHION SHOW, STUPID. NOR DO I ENJOY BEING CRITIZED FOR ANYTHING I DO TO RECTIFY MATTERS.

'Fucking attention-seeker' Yep.

'Interfering bitch!' I can't care any less about what you do unless I am supposed to do it. You can piss in a lift, I'll give you a disgusted look, and I won't speak anyway.

'Pretty-talking bootlicker!' I hardly talk, and I am a blunt person. Bootlicking? PLEASE. I will not bootlick for a higher position because that is not my style.

I have seen better bootlickers than you guys, and I'm not interested in what you have to say.

'Emo-acter!' Don't enjoy talking + Likes wearing black + Not very expressive + Can have a 'black' mood = Emo? Your equations fail. Define EMO.

As you can see, I am not happy about my current state of life. It's so stagnant it hurts. Audition is getting so slow, the computer is fucking up, my fuse is getting shorter, I'll see those idiots next year if my grades go on like this. I don't like to revise. I don't WANT to study chinese.

I want my violin class. I want my books. I want my dancing group back.

I want Everything to be back as it used to be.

But Time is irrevertable.

We have no choice but to go on.

Nothing lives except for stories, hate, hurt and fantasies.

Not even memories are preserved.

Not even dreams escape from being shattered.

We just have no choice.

~Rebecca.